Willow Lake

Last Saturday Rob took the kids hiking.  I'm sad I missed it.  Highlights were the wildflowers and the freak outs about the bugs and the grass touching her legs by Clara.  Apparently she was pretty skittish.   Maybe I can convince them to take me this Saturday.

Letting Them Be Kids

I've been thinking about this lately.  It seems like we tell ourselves that this is a VERY unsafe world.  If we let our kids out to play they will be molested by the hordes of child molesters that lurk in our neighborhoods. Moms are checking the website that shows all the sex offenders in the city.  We hear horror stories and we are scared.

We can't let kids climb trees because they will DIE.  We can't let them ride their bike around the neighborhood because they will be kidnapped or lured in by above mentioned predatory perverts.  

I am a fan of seat belts and car seats and helmets.  They save lives.  I'm not advocating freedom in lieu of safety.  I also don't believe in letting kids roam completely free, but I think the world isn't nearly as dangerous as we have been told it is.  In fact, statistically it is safer today to be a kid than it ever has been.  Crime rates have dropped dramatically since 1993.

A few Sunday's back my kids and their cousins wanted to go up to the park by my parents house.  Usually this means an adult has to be coerced to go with them.  When I was little we went to the park all the time.  So this Sunday we said, fine, go.  Without adult supervision.  The rules were: stick together, stick together, and stick together.  And they went.  And they were...FINE.  Totally fine.  The molesters and kidnappers and evildoers left them in peace.  

I think we need to wean ourselves from the scary sensational stories and realize that maybe things aren't that different from when we were kids, except the rumormongering is far worse.  We have common sense and we have gut instincts and we as parents can use those.  There are homes and people I am wary of, but I think that for the most part its okay to let the kids out.  I don't particularly like to watch my kids climb trees because I am terrified that they will fall and injure themselves.  So I just turn away and walk away, biting my tongue.  So they climb.  But really, I think it is important for kids to be able to gain confidence and independence.  I'm not all the way there yet.  

I walk or drive my kids to friends houses or the church, but I'd like to let them just go.  Like I did when I was little.

Another thing I've been thinking about is video games (if that is even what they are still called). We don't have them.  More and more I feel like we are the last hold outs.  I despise the idea of them.  I know that my kids would play all day if we had them.  When I let them watch TV they watch until I turn it off.  They would watch all day.  I know I would use it as a "get the kids out of my hair, stop bugging me, leave me in peace" tool. I hate having conversations with children that can only talk about wii or other games. It bugs.  And I've met a lot of kids that have a serious case of gaming on the mind.  

I fear my kids would stop playing creatively if we bought a game system.  At the same time, are my kids going to be uber-freaks?  Are they going to be able to relate to other children?  And kids and cell phone and texting.....don't get me started.  

I just think it is important to let kids be bored enough to get creative.  And I'm amazed at how creative my kids can be when left on their own.  I'm not talking about me arranging a craft festival or an elaborate game for them.  I'm talking about letting them do what they want.  Being bored enough to turn on the creativity.  Sometimes when I go downstairs and the kids are in the middle of some elaborate game I'm amazed.  Like the time they were orphans whose parents had died on the Oregon trail (a little morbid maybe, but still).  The game was the adventure of how they made it to Oregon safely without parents.  It was amazing.  They had costumes, a covered wagon, a river, a forest, horses, and more.  Before they started the game they were bored to tears.  ("What can we do?" "I don't know, but go downstairs or outside and don't ask me that question one more time.")  If we had wii would I have just given in to get them out of my hair?

So am I totally weird?  What do you all think?  Have you found a balance?  Are you willing to let your youngsters ride their bikes around the block, or climb a tree?

Anyway here are a couple of things I've read about "free-range kids" and letting go a bit.  I've also put links to some books I want to read.  Any other suggestions?

NYPost article

Free Range Kids Blog

Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv

The Elephant in the Room: Making Television Work For Your Kids

Parenting in the 21st Century

Mellowed Out or Just Too Lazy: The Summer Schedule

Baby Lucy, Tucker, and Anders' bedtime?  Without fail 7:30.

Last night at 9:30 Clara put herself to bed. She was just too tired to wait any longer for her parents to get the job done, so she did it herself.

Bedtime for the kids this summer?  Dunno.  Whenever, usually.

Naptime for the children way back when?  Top priority.  Children need naps and schedules.  Life revolved around naptime.  Now? Clara gets a nap if she falls asleep in the car.

Late?  Never!  In the olden days I would never be late.  But now, well, things are different.  How was I ever on time?

Showers?

We are fully chlorinated but there just hasn't been time for showers all week.  Besides, we are swimming again today anyway, so why bother?  The fact that we swim almost every day seems to be a deterrent not an incentive to shower. Yeah, kind of gross. (not me, the kids).

The other day we had to make a trip to Lowes.  This time we were the family I used to scorn, dragging their tired kids to a store for a late night trip with an exhausted temper tantrumy two year old.

Yup, pretty much we are really awesome parents.  Life is just too busy and crazy to keep it all together.  I guess once you are outnumbered you just have to let go a bit.

Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House

Yesterday afternoon we went to the temple open house with some of the fam.  It is a really beautiful building.  During the tour they had us stop in the sealing room and we sat on the back row right by one of the mirrors.  Clara loved that. She stuck her tongue out and made faces to herself the entire time.  Then when we were walking through a dressing room she was running along and ran right past a mirror.  She did a double take and ran back and began to pose for herself in front of the mirror.  Silly baby.  I was glad we got to go.  It was pretty cool to look out over the valley and be able to see two other temples.

Pinewood Derby

The EQ in our ward sponsored a pinewood derby.  The kids were excited.  Rob helped them with their cars and we had fun.  Clara even got to race a banana.

A Summer Cookout

After a full day of swimming, swimming, and more swimming, we headed up the canyon for a dinner of tinfoil dinners.  It was fun to get out, get smoke in our eyes, and stuff our faces with marshmallows.  

"I'm amazing!" Clara said, showing off her sticky hands.

"Should we wash my hands?"

Yes, we should!

There's a Hole In The Tub Dear Rob, Dear Rob....Then Fix It Dear Anna...

I have a confession to make.  I loathe my home with an ingratitude that is going to damn me to Hell.  I am grateful to have a house and I am grateful to have a yard.  But the house is falling apart and the yard is falling apart and time and money aren't plentiful enough to maintain the house.  It's too overwhelming and there isn't enough money to do what I would like.  The man that owned the house was a do-it-yourselfer type who liked to cut corners, jimmyrig, and pay the least amount of money.  We are reaping the consequences, and it stresses me out.  The new paint job from five years ago needs a redo.  The "new" carpet (I am not a carpet fan anyway) needs replacing.  The windows which were bad when we bought it are worse.  The sprinkling system is completely jacked and it is very hard to maintain a large yard with no sprinklers.  One of my all time least favorite rooms was the hideous upstairs bathroom with the sick tile counter, the spray on wall texture, the wooden "feature" faucet, the forest green grout, and well you get the picture. Anyway, our old tub was rusting because the man didn't install it correctly.  It constantly had a pool of water because it didn't drain properly.  We never bathe our kids but rather shower them.  However, one night, Clara was having a rare bath and Rob noticed air bubbles coming up.  Dang, the rust had finally gone all the way through.  This led to the tub and hideous gray and forest green tile being torn out.  And that led to the demolition of everything else.   At every turn there are problems (crap plumbing, rotted floor, etc.)  So here is the bathroom thus far.  Hopefully the vanity will arrive this week and we can wrap things up.  So one month out and many many many dollars later here is the bathroom so far:

This was taken when we moved in (at least we removed 

the forest green seat cover 5 years ago)

The high quality lovely oak vanity lost it drawers when

we moved in.  They have been repaired several times

but shoddy quality is shoddy quality:

Sorry it is sideways.  One of the most hideous

features, imho:

I also loved the cheap spray on texture, the crap tile work, 

and the porcelein light plate:

Some of the rot we discovered at demo time:

Turns out demo is pretty fun:

The new window:

Laying the new subfloor:

We got white and white cultured marble for the shower.

Don't worry it isn't Trump-like just because it is marble.

It is very plain and basic, which I like:

The new tile floor.  Hexagon tile with light gray grout. 

The First Of Many Backpacking Adventures

Now that Rob is a fellow he gets one academic day a week.  Soon he will have to use it for research, but this week he came home early and took the kids on their first backpacking adventure.  Clara, as everyone was getting their packs ready, went to her room and packed her "packpack".  She was certain she was heading up on the mountain with them and was very excited.  So Courtney and I, in order to not break the girls heart, went up with the crew for the first leg of the adventure.  The kids did great.  Anders had to change into his slippers when it was discovered that his shoes had a painful hole in them, but that didn't slow him down.  (Sometimes I have to wonder what kind of parents we are.  Letting him ski without a coat and backpack with slippers?  Oh well.  We are building character, right?) Court and I acted as Sherpa's on the hike up, taking the kids packs every now and then.  Anyway, they made it to Twin Lakes (by Brighton) and set up camp.  They read the hobbit, ate candy, had a fire, got a million mosquito bites, and had a grand time.  They took plaster casts of moose and deer tracks, and they even saw a beaver.  They loved every second of it and I am sure there will be more adventures to come. (Thanks T&C for the equipment).

Rob says you can't see them all in the picture but Tuck's back and head were

covered by mosquitos: