Every year our family has a tradition of decorating the house for Christmas and we have a candlelight dinner. This year since we aren't getting a tree (we are leaving to go to my in-law's soon) I still wanted to do something. The kids and I are sad about not having a tree and so I wanted to make the night really nice to help ameliorate some of the disappointment. (Lucy actually came in crying a few days ago, she was so sad. I told her Tutu would have tree for us in Hawaii and she lit up and said, "I didn't know they had pine trees there, I thought it was just palm trees.") So yesterday I got the house all cleaned up and ready, bought the food for the dinner, and had a few little 'gifts' ready for the kids. I got everything prepared so it could be perfect, and lit the candles. And then, it seems to have just fallen apart, or rather I fell apart. Rob ended up being much later than I had anticipated and he missed most of the dinner, the decorating without a tree was kind of lame, and by then I was feeling pissy so of course the mood was fabulous. So, in dictator fashion, I canceled the decorating part and we went down to watch the Joy to the World DVD that the church sent out in then Ensign a couple of years ago. Lucy snurled her lip at the movie choice (I don't know if that is a phrase my parents coined describing one of my least-attractive teenage daughter qualities or if it is a real term) while inwardly I was snurling with a vengence, and anyway you get the picture. And then our perfect family moment, watching a movie together wasn't so perfect because Clara was screeching, Anders kept working on the nativity puzzle, and Lucy and Rob corrected her math homework. This was not living up to the vision of Christmas perfection I had envisioned. I felt like I was visiting my future life with teenagers. No one wanted the party, no one cared but me, and then I felt all sad and mad. Poor me. And then when I looked at the little messes pushed under tables and other inconspicuous places, my rage boiled over. My kids were out to get me. The lego pieces, scraps of paper, broken crayons, books tossed haphazardly on the shelf afterhaving been painstainkly arranged about a million times by me, and a sock carefully stuffed under a cushion by a lazy child so he didn't have to make the long 2 yard trek to the laundry room, all felt like a personal assault. I had this overwhelming rage bubble up and take over because I knew at that moment that the kids are messy just to spite me!
Oh dear. I guess we don't always get things right, do we? Turns out I was the saboteur of the Christmas Spirit last night. So now I publicly admit, I am not perfect, and I probably have PMS.
Next up: Feats of Strength
18 comments:
So sad! Sometimes things just don't turn out the way you pictured them....but you tried, you get credit for that! I hope the night ended ok.
I'll bet the snow you had ordered for this morning didn't show up either! Sometimes nothing seems to go right! (It would be bad luck to hypothesize about what might go wrong in Hawaii.)
you're bringing your aluminum pole with you to the B.I. right?
I remember one Christmas season when Brad had previously given us coupons for Red Lobster. We planned a nice trip to SLC for dinner with the family (probably slightly older than your kids). I was very excited and hopeful that it would be a pleasant evening. Everyone hated it and it was a bust. It would be nice if we could just take things as they come without inflated expectation, but it just isn't so. Very sad for you.
D.
Sounds like when we tried to have a movie night with Finn and refused to watch the movie, I got so mad, it was Disney for crying out loud how scary can it be!
Amen. Were you at my house last night....I mean, every night? I think that this kind of thing happens to me with, like every, family experience. I intend it to be a perfect-blog-worthy moment, but there's inevitably some whining, crying, squabbling, enormous mess making, and me getting totally grouchy in the process. I'm glad you keeps it real, because it helps the rest of us know that we're not the only ones.
And same to you, dearie...you're not alone! It's bound to be a merry Christmas eventually anyway.
At least you tried. I can see myself doing exactly the same thing. Sometimes it can be so frustrating! I have to admit I am a little jealous you have an excuse not to get a tree. Actually your excuse is that you are going to Hawaii!!! I am a lot jealous!
Ditto at my house every night, well, almost every night. Except my kids are not out to get me they are intentionally creating more work for me in an effort to make me so busy picking up after them that I will forget to tell them to... practice piano, do homework, wash their faces, walk one of the dogs, or go to bed. I have learned to not have any expectation of a special occasion at all hence I am not upset when it does not go according to my plan. I think it's a Hansen thing, the perfection and all.
I totally feel your pain. And I have to say that this post just cements the fact that you are the PERFECT mother, I LOVE IT. It will all be worth it when you are chillin on the beach soon :)
Hi Anna! Your blog is great. I am glad to hear you be real! Lucy is a miniature you and your family is adorable.
I think husbands and kids have a huddle in the middle of the night and figure a way to make the Mom miserable! Nobody's perfect, its all for show!
LOL- Glad to know we are the only family who have nights like that. Sorry about the tree thing, that would be sad.
Dear Anna, You just wait till you have a family...then you'll know how I feel...ahem...
Mother
p.s. It really is all worth it in the final analysis.
thanks for being realistic on your blog, it makes me realize that i'm not the only one who goes crazy sometimes being a mom! you're awesome.
Ohhh.. dang - sorry your plans didn't work out - it sounded like it was going to be a wonderful night. You are awesome just for trying to plan all of that!
I'm sure this wasn't your intent... but I'm laughing out loud. Mostly because I REMEMBER hiding that sock instead of walking to the hamper. I don't know why it was so hard to actually truly pick up a room when asked to... but it was:) Sorry it was a crappy night, especially since you were so pumped.
Laugh away. I think it is funny...
I totally get the female hysteria.
Glad I'm not the only one on that guilt trip.
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